LEARNING NEW THINGS

I read about what happen to the astronaut’s feces that they disposed of during space missions. Apparently they brought it back to earth to be unloaded. Imagine what will happen if an ignorant NASA scientist mistakenly identify it to be some sort of moon soil to be studied.

Nasa Scientist : Never seen this one before. (Excitedly!)
Astronaut : Feel it. It’s soft but a little sticky.
Nasa Scientist : Yeah man, you’re right. (Poking his hand into the pile). I’ll be famous if I could break it down and identify the chemical composition of this moon soil.
Astronaut : That’s my shit you stupid!

What about the urine? Well, they released it in space. Good thing there are not many space missions nowadays like it were before. One thing that I am not sure of is whether urine dissolves in space. Otherwise, it will be flooded with urine drops up there.

I also found out that oral sex is bad for you. Something to do with HPV virus contracted during oral sex can cause throat cancer. (HPV- Sorry, I am too lazy to Google it)

*Sigh*. What else are left for us to do? I couldn't help but think, what’s the fun of having sex nowadays? With new finding like this, a day will come when we will resort to satisfy our sexual needs by wanking and using vibrators.

Source: BBC News Online

THE LOVIN' FEELING (WAY TO GO DUDE!)

Excerpt from The Star, 9 May 2007.

KUALA LUMPUR: He is a 97-year-old man who cannot hear very well and has lost almost all his teeth and hair, but he believes he still has the lovin’ feeling.

Retiree Yong Chai Keng feels that he can provide happiness to a 38-year-old widow he has never met before.

Yesterday, he proposed to her publicly.

Yong took a bus from Raub, Pahang, to Kuala Lumpur and met MCA Public Services and Complaints Department head Datuk Michael Chong to tell him of his intention.

“The first time he came, we turned him away, thinking he was joking. But he returned in the afternoon and a few days later.

“Personally, I do not think it is a good match, but since he sought my help, I am obligated to assist,” Chong told reporters yesterday.

The woman whom Yong fancies is Tan Yi Huan, a widow from Perak with two children aged eight and three. Tan appeared in a Chinese newspaper last August to highlight her financial plight after her husband died.

She is reportedly staying with her sister in Puchong.

Yesterday, reporters asked Yong what he could offer Tan to give her happiness. The reporter had to shout the question near his ear because he could not hear very well.

“I have my own house and rubber plantation. But the plantation belongs to my brother. I just want a fan poh (woman) to keep me company after my wife died last year,” said Yong.

His late wife died after suffering a stroke years ago. She was in her 80s.

Yong has written a letter to Tan saying that he loved her and if she wanted to contact him, she could call his daughter’s house in Kuala Lumpur.

THE `LOVIN' FEELIN' DUDE HOLDING A PHOTO OF HIS LOVE

Note : Akula admires The Dude's spirit, effort and resourcefulness in his quest for love. Akula wish him all the best and sincerely hope The Dude's lady embrace his love with open arms. Akula also think that The Dude is DA MAN.