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Sunday, June 10, 2007

I HATE THESE PEOPLE......

There are 3 kinds of people that I hate:-

1. People who dont know shit about me and yet try to give me advice on how to live my life.
2. People who tried to force me to believe in what they believe.
3. People who whine.

No 1

"Akula, I think its not proper for you to wear Indonesian batik to the function, you should instead wear Malaysian batikla. Not nice you know, you are a Malaysian, you should be proud of yourself as Malaysian". Somebody told me when I was about to go to my Indonesian friend's wedding when I was abroad. Actually this guy like to comment on everything, my car, my job, my ehem *cough* even though he just met me. I was patience enough with him for a while but on that day, I was really annoyed. So I shot back at him "Who the f**k are you? My mother?". Needless to say, he stop badgering me after that and I didnt meet him again.

Regret? None whatsoever.

No 2

A friend told me how he witnessed a woman who is so religous and can make precious stones appear out of thin air. He is a Malay and of course a Muslim by the way. He prays 5 times a day, never falter in fulfilling his obligation to God. A good man. He then asked me "You dont believe me, do you?". I replied. "Not a word". "Well, its true, I saw this with my own eyes, it happened right in front of me" He tried to convince me. " Yeah, man, whatever" I was bored like hell. He then proceed to tell me that he learned silat as a young man and his guru silat taught him ilmu kebal. "But that is only for self defence, not for showing off. That is why I have to strictly perform my daily prayers everyday or I will loose it".

So I poured a box of thumb tacks on his seat while he was not looking. "YEEEEOOOOOWWW!" he screamed and jumped from his chair. " I just said to him "Bro, you're really loosing your ilmu kebal. Better pray harder, man".

He quit being a friend.

No 3

"Akula. I spent many years doing my job as best as I could, and my company dont even recognise my contribution, who am I anyway, I am not a high flyer like them, I think I dont even exist in their eyes and I slaved myself for them". He kept on whining like a small child who wanted his ice cream. I told him "Could you please snap out of it and act like a 46 years old man?".

I greeted the silence with open arms.

*silat - Malay martial arts
guru silat - the silat master
ilmu kebal - the ability to be invincible, knife, bullet wont harm your body

21 comments:

Lil' Miss Easydent said...

Gulp! Garangnya abang ni. Saya budak kecik, tatau apa2. Saya masuk sini sebab suka baca blog abang. Abang jgn marah ek. *sengih nampak sayur celah gigi*

praveen said...

wow..i just missed a few days and so many posts came up..ur funny la man, I loved the part you put the thumb tacks..:p

Anonymous said...

Ha Ha Ha .... I don't think you hate these people. In fact I think you love them. That's make your life so colouful. I am right.... am I?

akula said...

LME:Budak kecik tak pe, kalau dak....

Parveen : I am trying really hard, because my face garang giler.

anonymous : Colourful yes, cant argue with that. Love them? You think? Hey, are you the one with the thumb tack?:)

Anonymous said...

Heh He he .... I am not the one who got the thumb tack. That one you had abandoned him in Canada.

Mr Hobo said...

hahahaha as i turned to the right of the screen i saw Ads by Google ... Gay Malaysia in your blog ... what the phuck for lah brother????

akula said...

anonymous: I didnt say Canada la, ni serkap jarang la ni, nice try.

Hobo dude: Eh ye ke? Celebrating the variety of life. Actually I do not have control over the ads. BTW why are you so interested in Gay ad? Something I dont know in your closet? hahaha

Anonymous said...

Serkap jarang is my expertise. A lot of time I manage to catch big fishes woooo...

M.I.S.S.Y said...

...so when can we meet? juz cant wait to make you turn green...thats my specialty..can aaa??

Winged Acrophobic said...

You haven't changed much since school days. Rock on, brother. And fuck these characters hard!

akula said...

anonymous : so blog about your big fish la, man, bila lagi?

missy: errkkkkk! tak de duit nak beli spender baru kalau koyak nanti sebab turn green.

winged a: Hahaha, bro, wah semangat nampak sejak dua menjak ni.

de_merezo said...

bro, lu memang mcm tu sejak dari dulu, kini dan selamanya...keep it up man..

akula said...

de_merezo: lamanya tak dengar nama tu. I still. Bila nak teh tarik session ni?

UglyButAdorable said...

sumtimes no.3 happens to me..during PMS..hehhh..hehh.can't help it..monthly swings...

i must learn to be no. 1 kinda guy..i'm too good..or too scared??

Anonymous said...

Aiyooo.... akula..... don't hate la... just make love...

he heh

Anonymous said...

especially to somebody who can make u turn green kat atas tu....

akula said...

uba: Maybe we just should express our feelings, openly. And hey, if they dont like it, it is not our problem... Hahaha

anonymous 1 & 2: Beb, I dont hate people. I just hate people who makes me hate them. Heheh

lil ms d said...

hahahahaha

but u find me cute kan?

akula said...

LMD: hahhaha, for sure..... hmmm, if my memories serve me right, hows the jungle trip?

lil ms d said...

great hot springs. yum yum. and then had to come back to kl. bleargh.

akula said...

lmd: hot springs? Who needs it if you can do mud wrestling in front of Sultan Abdul Samads building?